When you think of a strong woman, what picture comes to mind? You might see her as bold and fearless. Full of confidence and knows exactly who she is. She always knows what to do and she always does the right thing.
She’s successful in every area and you look up to her, but you’re afraid to approach her because you know you can’t measure up. Besides, what could you possibly have in common with her anyway? She’s perfect.
You wish you could be like her but for some reason, it just feels impossible. So you deem yourself weak. You deem yourself a failure. You think “I can never be that woman.” You’re right. You can’t. But I think we’ve got it wrong.
A strong woman is not fearless. She’s full of all kinds of fears. Fears about her present and her future. She fears for her family and she fears for her community and for her world. She’s anxious. She lies awake at night sometimes and wonders how she can make a change. She wonders how she can better herself and the people around her.
She is not fully confident. No, she is, in fact, full of insecurities. She worries how she will be perceived and whether she’s good enough. She worries whether she is capable of reaching her dreams. She doesn’t always know what to do. In fact, half the time she gets it wrong. But the difference between what we perceive a strong woman to be and what she actually is is this.....
Though she is full of fears, she does things afraid. She acknowledges the fear but she will not let it determine her decisions. And though it gets the best of her at times, she chooses to persevere. She shows up for the things that matter, hands shaking and all.
And yes, she has many insecurities. But that’s because she pushes herself to be uncomfortable. She makes an effort to do things she’s never done because she knows growth can only happen when she steps out and takes a risk. She risks looking foolish if it means reaching her goals. She doesn’t always know what to do, but she makes the hard decisions anyways. She hopes for the best with everything she does, but sometimes she fails. A lot of the time, she fails. But she keeps trying.
She doesn’t yet fully know who she is. Sometimes she doubts herself and her decisions. She tries to be many things to many people because she has to be. She has to be wife or mom or daughter. Or boss or employee or friend. She has to be tough and she has to be a nurturer. Or all of these things and more all in one day. But somehow she does it and she knows she is finding herself. Piece by piece her identity is being built. Little by little she is realizing her potential and how strong she really is.
She is the single mom who has to be mom, dad, provider, student, caregiver, and everything in between. She somehow does it all with little to no help.
She is the woman who, after years of abuse, gets the courage to leave that relationship because she dared to believe that she’s worthy of love and happiness.
She’s the first-time mom who, despite crippling anxiety and postpartum depression, takes her baby out in public, because she knows she needs to get out of the house. She knows there’s hope that she can get better.
She’s the breast cancer survivor who dares to wear that dress despite how she feels about her body. Because she deserves to feel beautiful. Because she is beautiful.
She’s the woman who, after a life of trauma and depression, decides to talk to that therapist or take those antidepressants. Because she knows she needs to heal. Because she wants to live and thrive. She’s the 50-year-old woman who decides to get her degree or pursue that business for the first time because she believes in “it’s never too late.”
She dares to dream and dares to be different. She dares to go against the grain. She dares to believe in change, in love. To believe she can make a difference. Even if it be small.
She’s every age, every size, and every color. She’s all around you and within you, waiting to be revealed. Waiting to make her big debut. It’s time to unleash her. It’s time to give her permission. Do not let society tell you you are weak.
Woman, you are strong.
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